Tuesday, August 07, 2007

File Under "Ruminations"

In addition to a shocking look-alike discovery involving a scientist, a billionaire, and Bud Selig, I realized during tonight's Giants-Nationals game on ESPN2 that I have been giving a certain man's cranium short shrift on this blog: shortstop Omar Vizquel, your time has come:




I would like to take just a moment on this fine, hot August evening to celebrate the head of a man who may not be one of my personal baseball heroes, but whose mighty, mighty skull must rank among the very greatest heads the game of baseball has ever known. It's list of on-field accomplishments needs no embellishment: Omar Vizquel's head has won 11 Gold Gloves, looked down the barrel of the bat at more than 2,500 career hits, and pulled the rest of his body forward for more than 350 stolen bases. But even off the field, Vizquel's head has done wonders for the game, expanding the Major League hat size options for players from "Small" through "Large" to include "Extra-Extra Large," for the cranially embellished, and by sporting his own cap at a height of more than five inches above his eyebrows, Vizquel's head has made him easy to spot in crowds for more than 18 years in the pros. Yes, Omar Vizquel's mighty headspace is a true trailblazer for brain-pans everywhere; not only a gifted skull, but quite possibly a living legend. Take a moment to look back at the great heads Major League Baseball has seen in the past: Babe Ruth's basketball-shaped skull, the sharply-angled mouse-face of Billy Martin, Ted Williams' squared G.I. Joe jaw, and most recently, Barry Bonds' massive, potato-like cranium - each of them signifying not only individual athletic greatness for their owners, but, in a very special way, symbolizing the very elements of exceptionality that made the bodies beneath their necks so noteworthy. To see "The Head of Omar Vizquel" in such company is long overdue.

Omar's head, let me be the first to congratulate you: caps off.



OMAR VIZQUEL'S HEAD
1989 - present

A tribute to the greatest hydro-cephalic shortstop of our generation.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Indeed, the greatest hydro-cephalic shortstop of our generation.

Could we see a picture of him with his hat or batting helmet on? Then you can really see it.

brd said...

smile.

Anonymous said...

People should read this.